There are several possible outcomes if you decide to text your ex after a breakup. Depending on the circumstances of the relationship, your texts may be met with open acceptance or they may be met with extreme opposition.

When you want to get your ex back, sending carefully crafted text messages can be a great way to break down your ex’s opposition and open them to the idea of being with you again. Text messages can help you create a private and intimate path to your ex. It’s simple. It’s subtle. It’s non-confrontational.

Texting your ex can build intimacy, attraction, and desire without causing you and your ex to fight or fall back into destructive patterns. It can be a vital and powerful tool to help you get your ex back when done slowly, strategically, and in a systematic way.

But what about the extreme opposition we discussed earlier? What happens when your ex wants nothing to do with you and reacts negatively to your texts by “screaming” something back like, “Do not text me anymore!”

First, realize this shows your ex still has feelings for you. Yes, it’s negative emotion, but negative emotion is better than no emotion whatsoever. You can learn to turn your ex’s negative emotions to your advantage and texting can help you do that. What you don’t want is complete apathy from your ex.

Next, understand if your ex sends you a negative and aggressive text, then they need more time. They are still hurt. They are still angry. They aren’t ready to forgive and move on.

Simply send a text back that says something like, “Sorry. Hope things are well for you.” Then, resist the urge to contact them again for at least 4-6 weeks so some of that negative emotion can die down.

Lastly, don’t let your ex turn things into a fight. You have to resist the urge to go negative no matter what. It’s human nature to want to defend yourself, stand up for yourself, and plow through any resistance your ex throws your way, but you have to keep things positive.

You’ll do a lot more harm than good if you try to apologize or try to convince your ex to talk to you when they are feeling extremely negative toward you. The words “do not text me anymore” don’t have to mean forever if you know how to react and respond in a way that doesn’t further ignite the situation.